Sunday, November 27, 2011

My Birth Father

After watching an episode of Gossip Girl, season 3 - episode 14, where Chuck finds his birth mother and Serena finally tells her father she's no longer looking for him and she never wants to know him. I, myself, have had to choose and my sister did also.

The few memories I have of my birth father is being in his apartment and he had a water bed. He had a girlfriend named Strawberry and I talked to him over the phone when I was in first grade, I think, and I missed him so much I started crying when he promised me a truck full of toys when he saw me again. My mom took the phone away from me and yelled at him for making me cry but it wasn't him, it was me that missed him so much. That was the last time I talked to him.

The next time he was brought up is when my dad, the man my mom married when I was in kindergarten or first grade who treated me like his own daughter, asked if he needed to look or call my birth father so he may attend my graduation. He asked my sister 4 years earlier the same the question and she made her decision that was best at the time for her. I knew from the day she was asked that question what my answer would be.


Plain and simple. I don't know if he ever made an effort to contact me again and it seems I never made the effort either. I didn't want to. I was past all that. I didn't need to know my father, I already had one. I didn't need to know why he never called if he did. He never sent me birthday cards or Christmas cards. I didn't need to know why because I had a father whom I created many memories with.

I remember being in the front seat, driving in his firebird, listening to Phil Collins. Or sledding on the hill behind out townhouse in Massachusetts, and scrapping my face on the ice and him coming to my side to pick me up. Or when I was sick and I fell asleep under my bed and he found me. Or when I got my first flat tire and he was the first person I called.

I don't need to know my birth father because I already have one.